Be Proactive and Anticipate Conflict as it is sure to come.
What do you mean I will need conflict resolution in Primary? Racing to the front of the line, pushing each other into the wall. Moving farther and farther away from the the end of the line so that they can be last. Exhausting, head shaking and also guaranteed to happen each and every day in Primary. Understanding that this is normal behaviour at this age helps but it’s still frustrating to deal with on repeat. Using these conflict resolution techniques can improve your students behaviours and foster a positive classroom community.
Begin your Conflict Resolution with Great Read Alouds!
Every year in anticipation of needing conflict resolution in Primary strategies I explain these lessons to my students through wonderful stories. I know that my students will struggle with being able to explain their feelings. They will find it faster to use their hands then their words so we prep for this early on. I encourage the use of talking out our emotions and the fostering of a classroom community beginning on day one. Here are my top three beginning of the year and then all year long reads. I explain to the kids as I use them regularly that good readers, read the same books more then once to find new things each time, understand the message a little better and catch things we may have missed the last time. This helps me to reinforce the messages I want to promote and also encourages good reading behaviours while building on comprehension strategies at the same time. Win, win!
My go to First book of the year
The first book I love to read is How full is your Bucket for Kids. This one’s been around a while but is timeless in teaching kids how to feel good by helping others to feel good. It talks in age appropriate terms about mental health and how it affects us in our daily lives. You can easily find or create extension activities to really drive this message home for your students. A quick google search will bring up many results.
Top close Second runner up
My next go to is Enemy Pie: Classic story of how one child believes another is his enemy and his very clever dad helps him realize that through kindness we can overcome those negative thoughts and become good friends. It’s also a great extension into creative writing activities where they create their own enemy pies. They can list ingredients, write their own stories about it, act it out in a play. These extensions actually ring true for all read aloud’s but Enemy Pie is fun!
Third Fabulous Favourite
And while this is certainly not an extensive list my top third is Carla’s Sandwich. A really great read aloud about how being different can be cool! Carla’s Sandwich is also when I often introduce simple hamburger (or Sandwich) writing to the kids that includes: Beginning, Middle and End of the story it fits nicely with: Bun, Burger, Bun, in simple story writing. Here are some visuals for reference.
You also need talking circles they are so helpful for Conflict Resolution and teaching students to listen to each other.
I have found talking circles to be an invaluable resource. I try to have talking circles regularly and proactively to train the students to understand their emotions. This teaches the students how to be productive in working through any emotions before they get too big.
Where to get a beautiful talking stick?
I have a stick that I found in the yard, wrapped it in some colourful yarn and put a feather hanging from it. The kids think there is some magic in it and they feel very special using it. My rules are simple the only person allowed to speak is the one holding the stick. We don’t say names if we express a concern or if we need to talk about something that has happened to us we simply say “someone” did such and such and it made me feel… This eliminates reactions of other students in the room that may be involved and keeps the focus on the problem rather than the problem maker. Then we rally together and come up with creative solutions on how to make the situation better and listen to how it made each other feel. There is no better Conflict Resolution in Primary than your students hearing others express their feelings.
Give us an Example of Conflict Resolution.
In a recent talking circle many of my students were upset because they were playing soccer with some older students and they were being too rough. So we problem solved that they could have a game that only the younger students would play. This worked out well and the students left feeling safer, happier and still able to play soccer. I made a point of going outside for recess to chat and check on them after doing this. I highly reccomend when you see escalation go outside and interact with your students it’s key to keeping things calm.
How often should I have a Talking Circle?
I use these circles often, incorporate it into my oral language and social emotional learning skills so I aim to have them once a week. Usually on my Fun Friday (a post on it’s own) when we have a little extra wiggle room to deviate from our schedule. I will also absolutely stop what we are doing and have students sit down for a talking circle if I see: excessive crying, cruel language or repetitive hands on. Ignoring this escalation will lead to further escalation, parent phone calls, administrative frustration… just stop. Take the time your kids need to talk it out and problem solve, then move on to your planned lesson. You will find your lesson much more productive that way. For more on creating Classroom Communities check out my post “How to Build Classroom Communities” linked below.
With Love, C.
